Thursday, June 4, 2009

Don't be a "Blue Tool"

Yet another FASHION FELONY......

Urban Dictionary defines a "Blue Tool" as; a person who uses their blue tooth headset when unnecessary, or leaves attached in ear when not having a conversation.

I came across this last night. I was without words when I saw this. Blue tooth headsets are to be used while driving in order to free your hands so that you can drive and talk on the phone. They are ABSOLUTELY not appropriate to wear in public, let alone as an accessory while out at a bar.
I don't want to see this again.... it does'nt look cute at all. so for the love of God, don't be a "BLUE TOOL"

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Let's Review......

Let’s review the rules of animal prints shall we?
As we all know a little animal print can add some spice to any outfit.....

...That is unless you choose to wear leopard Croc’s. I came across these dreadful things while browsing and was absolutely horrified! I thought I made it very clear in my previous post What a Croc that Crocs are a HUGE “Fashion Faux Pas”
If you are like me and you like to punch up your outfit by wearing animal prints, there are tasteful ways to do this with out resorting to disgusting plastic clogs.
Pairing animal print shoes with a simple dress or some jeans are two great ways to pull off this look.
Another idea is to carry an animal print bag! Just remember that you should not wear animal print from head to toe. Not only is it a Fashion Felony but it’s way too “Matchy Matchy”

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Cowgirl Chic

The days of cowboy boots being just for cowboys are over!

This western wear staple can be worn with just about anything: Under your jeans, over your jeans, with shorts, with an airy dress, with a simple dress, with leggings or tights. Whatever you decide to wear them with just don’t over do it by going for a western themed outfit, or anything to "busy" or loud. Remember: It’s not a costume. It’s ........
“cowgirl chic”

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

If the boot fits....

With winter in swing it's time to break out the boots!!!
Boots are probably one of my favorite things to wear. They are so versatile. They can be worn under pants or jeans, with jeans tucked into them (my favorite), or even with a sweater dress.

Luckily, you will be able to find a ton of boots on sale right now. There are a ton of places that you can scoop up boots for reasonable prices right now. Places like DSW have really good prices. Nordstrom and Macy’s have great prices as well.
A classy tip: If you sign up for email newsletters from Aldo, they will give you a coupon for 10% off your first purchase. you can sign up by clicking here.
REMEMBER: you get what you pay for. Don’t go the cheap route when it comes to boots.
Cheep Boots Look Cheep.
You don’t have to spend a fortune but keep in mind that you only wear them a few months out of the year. So a good pair (or two) can last you a few years at least.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

A Faux-Pas comes full circle.

Once considered an extreme FAUX- PAS is now a thing of the past. Can you guess what I’m talking about?
I'm talking about wearing brown and black together in the same outfit. Most of us would have rather died than wear these two together. But now, I am here to tell you that it not only acceptable, but it actually looks good. I'm not sure where the idea that the two colors didn't match came from but I’m glad that we as fashonista's have finally wised up and can embrace this look with open arms.
You will be seeing it all over this season, from people walking on the streets or in shopping centers, high end catalogues, to the chicest boutiques.

Now, there still are a few rules that go along with this.
(1) If you are wearing a belt, the belt must match your shoes. For instance, brown belt, brown shoes and vis-versa.
(2) Keep it simple. Don’t go around wearing all different shades of brown with your black. It will make you look like a patchwork quilt and that's not the look we are going for here.

Wear your brown and black together! You will look and feel FABULOUS!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Heidi, it's not Halloween yet!!

Heidi, One question..... WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
The Hills star was spotted wearing this disaster earlier this week.
Maybe Spencer has started brainwashing her to the point where he is telling her how to dress.
What ever the reason for this nightmare, it's not a good one.
I hope that Heidi never wears something like this again or I might have to put her in my fashion "black book" filed under repeat offender.
Consider this a warning Montag!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Picnic Time!!!!

What is this???? UGLY as HELL that's what!! When I came across this disaster and was for once, speechless. For one thing, this D&G dress is one of the most hideous things I have ever seen. Two, what happened to Jessica Simpson? I never thought I would say this, but Kelly Osborne looks better than her. WOW!!! Jessica, you have let your new found country lifestyle go just a tad too far. You’re supposed to eat on the picnic blanket, not turn it into a dress!!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Slob's in the City

Maybe I missed the memo, but I doubt it.
When did it become socially acceptable to dress like a slob? I recently read an article in TBT, in which a journalist was going to Publix for a late evening snack when she saw something that made her "tremble in fear". There were a number of people there dressed in items that one should never leave the house in. She saw, four pairs of pajama pants, three “muscle” tees, a halter dress exposing a dingy bra, a scrunchie, and too many dirty flip-flops to count.

Similarly, I have noticed this at school. Why do people think it is okay to wear pajama pants, slippers, ripped shirts, basketball shorts with dirty “wife beater” tank tops to school (or anywhere for that matter) ? Yesterday, I counted 4 people in just one class doing this. Did I go up to them and say, "What are you doing? Are you nuts? Don’t you know how awful that looks"? NO. I didn’t, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t want to.

You may notice people committing this fashion felony while traveling. They can be spotted in airports around the world.
You don't have to sacrifice your dignity for so-called comfort.

So, I say to all the pajama clad publix shoppers, students and travelers; Keep the PJ's in the house and no one gets hurt!

Friday, August 22, 2008

purple power

Purple IS this season's hottest color!!!!

You will be seeing it everywhere from places
like Forever 21, to upscale stores like Neiman Marcus , Nordstrom, and of course boutiques.

There are many ways you can wear this color. For the bold and fearless, you can drape it all over like these three ladies. For the less daring it can be used to add little punches of color anywhere you like (go for some purple nailpolish by OPI). This rich hue is sure to spice up any outfit weather your paring it with jeans and a tee, or a black mini dress.

Either way, this color is a must have for any fall wardrobe.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Big Bucks for Big Towel

In the market for a new beach towel? If you are you may want to think about taking out a second mortgage to scoop up this one.

Looks like you ordinary beach towel right? WRONG! It's a Hermes beach towel.... It's made from, you guessed it, 100% cotton. WOW! I guess in Hermes language that translates to: woven from gold thread and diamond dust. (note: it doesn't. it translates into, Lets rip off consumers by telling them its a designer product, so they have to have it)

The average beach towel can cost anywhere from $10 to $20 depending on size and quality.

I guess if I ever feel like spending $459 on a beach towel one day, then I will definitely have to buy this one.

Need a beach bag? Hermes can take care of that for you too!
You can pick up this little COTTON bag for $930!!!
This day at the beach is getting to be quite expensive.
Lets take a moment to add this up:
Towel- $459
Beach Bag- $930
TOTAL: $1389.00

*(remember: That is for one towel. I don't know about you but I take at least 3 with me every time i go to the beach)

Thursday, August 7, 2008

No!!!!! Not Again

NO NO NO...... This is becoming ludicrous! 2 times in one week I see this sock stuffed in a "shoot" business.

Now this lovely disaster is the creation of Stella McCartney. A pair of these will set you back $1,195 (very tempting, i know).
I know where this idea came from. Stella was smoking a huge ROCK, and saw a pair of
hideous "booties" then thought, "Wow you know what would look great with those? Thick Socks!! BRILLIANT!!" I'm here to inform anyone who cares, that these little things are not cute. They are not as bad as the Marc Jacobs ones, but, they still pose as a great example of an extreme faux pas.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Hollywood Blvd. meets Rodeo Drive

When looking at this, you may be thinking that this is a new trend for strippers. quite the opposite. This is the latest from designer Marc Jacobs....

I would not be caught dead in these shoes..... I'm not really sure what Marc was trying to accomplish here. If it was to design a shoe that makes you look like a 2 dollar hooker, lady of the night then Hat's Off!!!! he succeeded!!!
Those of you who do wish to look like a streetwalker wearing "hybrid" shoe. go ahead a cough up $495 to look like a HARLOT!!! In my opinion, that's $494.99 too much.
This shoe is just a different version of one of my absolute favorite faux pas of all time: loafers or any type of heel with socks.
(awww... now don't cry_______, I love making you the butt of my jokes!!)

Monday, August 4, 2008

Checker boards are for playing checkers.... hence the name!!

Who wants checkers all over their pants? This girl does, THAT's WHO!!

I was shopping at International Plaza this past Sunday, when something suddenly caught my eye. No, it was not a fabulous bag or a cute outfit.... It was a girl wearing the most awful hideous pants I have ever seen. Not to mention they are "skinny" and she has chosen to pair them with not one, but two metallic belts. YUCK!

Someone must have missed the memo that this is not by any stretch of the imagination attractive. She would have been better off wearing a huge sign that says, "Hi I am a victim of extremely bad taste, and I have absolutely no fashion sense." That would have saved my eyes from experiencing a tremendous amount of pain.

But, I am actually glad that she wore it because it gave me a change to educate others on yet another Fashion Felony

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

WARNING: wrong bra causes damage

i recently wrote about how 85% of women are wearing the wrong size bra. i just came across this article and wanted to share it.

Ladies, listen up.

If you’re not wearing the right type of bra, you could be damaging your breasts without even realizing it.
Researchers from the University of Portsmouth in Hampshire, England found that wearing the wrong “support system” could lead to fragile ligaments in the breasts becoming irreparably stretched, the Daily Mail reported.
They found up to 95 percent of women are at risk — mostly because they are ignorant or embarrassed about their true bra size, according to the report.

Researched concluded this after they gave 100 women a treadmill test.
During the past three years, the team studied about 50 bra designs. What they found was that with most bras women’s breasts move up and down, in and out and from side to side, shifting an average of 8.26 inches, during exercise.
The problem is that most bras are designed to limit just vertical movement, the Mail reported.

"Many women have strong preferences for certain styles of bra and won't buy anything else,” Wendy Hedger, a researcher told the Mail. "In sports bras, for example, many women won't buy a bra that resembles their everyday bra — they think if it can't be pulled over their heads like a crop top, then it's not a real sports bra.”
This is not true, Hedger said.
“Many sports bras do up at the back in the same way as a traditional bra and do a very good job of supporting women.”
The bottom-line, choose a bra that is going to support your breasts whether you’re walking down the street or running on a treadmill, researchers said.


Thursday, July 24, 2008

Chief of (fashion) Police

We've all seen it...... these "wanna be" gangster guys "housing" their pants almost around their ankles. not cute! anyway, the Chief of Police in Flint, Michigan has had enough!

He has ordered that anyone who is wearing sagging pants with an un-tucked shirt, be searched.

The ACLU's Michigan chapter says that Flint Police are stopping people and pulling up their shirts to see if their pants are too low. the Police Chief claims that it is indecent exposure and a violation of the city's disorderly conduct ordnance, which gives police cause to search the person for drugs or weapons.

This trend is spreading nationwide amongst law makers. most cities implementing this law are handing out fines up to $500, while others are assigning community service.

I only wish we could give out fines for fashion felonies..... maybe then some people would think twice when choosing what to wear.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

you have got to be kidding me!!!!

As if it weren't already enough, Ed Hardy has made the decision to come out with a line of handbags.

Talk about saturating the market. In the beginning the Christian Audigier brand was unique, and considered by some to be a "status" symbol.

Now, it is EVERYWHERE!!- Even being made into "knock knocks" (fakes). I remember a product like this not a few years back that did the same thing.

Unless you were living under a rock- you have seen this bag. The Louis Vuitton Multicolor.

When it was first released, you would only see Celebrities carrying it. Then it was showing up on every "Jane" who decided that sporting a "knock knock" was better than nothing. I completely disagree.

If you so desire, go out and buy this Ed Hardy bag priced at $290. But I would not recommend it. Unless you are a fan of being the person who everyone looks at while you’re carrying it and thinks, what an idiot! That person spent almost $300 on a bag that makes them look like a complete moron.

Mark my words: this may be popular now, but give it 6 months and then tell me if you will ever carry this again. Unless, you are using it as a tote to carry all of your Ed Hardy items to the local thrift store.

Monday, July 14, 2008


WOW!!! This guy seriously went to his closet, picked out this wretched outfit, put it on, and went out of his house believing that he looked good!!! That is a scary thought!

For the record: Stripes and plaid DO NOT MATCH!

I came across this DISASTER at a local bar which I attend occasionally for Friday happy hour. Now, I wonder what was going through his head. Was it "man, I look good!, the ladies will be all over me tonight!" or was it "it's Friday and who cares what I wear" either way it is absolutely UN acceptable.

I wont continue to dissect this horrendous excuse for an outfit any further, but readers, please be advised that this is a fashion don’t. If you are caught wearing something like this or even close (and I am lucky enough to have a camera in arm’s reach) there is a good chance that there will be a post about you.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

High Heels- A true love / hate relationship

Okay, I like so many other women i know absolutely love their high heels! I love mine!!!! i literally own 50 pairs. Some say i must have been born in them.

They are a true sacrifice for a lot woman. more often that not i get approached while wearing a pair of "killer" shoes and hear "gosh, don't those hurt to walk in?" or "I would die if i walked in those" my answer is ALWAYS, NO WAY, they feel great to me! but i have a secret. i have adopted several tricks to make them a lot more comfortable.

I have found these little inserts at ALDO. they are made of terrycloth, with a little padding under them. the best part is that they have non slip bottoms, so when i were them i don't have to worry about them sliding around in my favorite 4 (sometimes 5) inchers! (they cost about $5, and are definitely worth it) I have at least 10 pairs of them. Did i mention they are machine washable? a major PLUS!!!)

Dr. Scholles makes something like this too....but they do not work as well.

Monday, July 7, 2008

85%...... WOW that's A LOT!

Did you Know: 85% of women are in the wrong size bra?

Neither did I. I had always heard this and thought that it must be everyone else and not me.
I was wrong. I happened to be shopping at Nordstrom this weekend (surprise surprise) when a friend and I decided to get fitted for bra's. I'm not sure why we did, but I sure am glad. As it turns out I have been in the wrong size bra for quite a while now.

I have been fitted at Victoria's Secret before, but come to find out they are the ones who have been putting me in the wrong size. Now don't get me wrong VS bra's are great, but their associate's just don't know how to "size you up" like Nordstrom does.

"Almost every woman is guilty of wearing a bra that is too large in bandwidth and too small in the cup" says Oprah on her show "O's Bra Intervention". On which she had renound bra fitting expert Susan Nethero, owner of the Intimacy Boutique's in Atlanta, New York and Chicago. Susan is said to have fitted, and adjusted the bras of more than 100,000 women.

Tip for a good fit: UPDRADE!! buy 3 top quality bras, rather than a bunch of cheap ones. You need only one to wear, one to wash, and one in the drawer.

Some might think that bras at a store like Nordstrom would be much more expensive than say Victoria's Secret. Quite the contrary. The average price of a VS bra goes anywhere from $38 to $52! Bra's at Nordstrom start at around $28 and can go up into the $90 range.

The difference is that Nordstrom has expert fitters.
(Try the Nordstrom Fit Chart for yourself)

At Nordstrom, i was able to get fitted properly and bought some bra's in the correct size, that fit and were a lot more comfortable. And did i mention, that the ones that i bought were cheaper than the "Very Sexy" one i usually buy from Victoria's.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

"Just Say No" to Beer Bikini's!

ATTENTION: If you are thinking about wearing any type of "beer bikini" this weekend for 4th of July DON'T!
Nothing says "Hi, I’m white trash, what’s your name?" more than this.
I will be on the lookout for fashion felonies all weekend. I will have my camera in tow so beware!!
Also, I shouldn’t have to tell you this but I will.
American flag ones are not okay either.

Guys, don't think you're exempt from these rules. Girls don't think it makes you look hot when you wear beer or any other alcohol related board shorts. It makes you look like a tool!